What am I doing here?

The quest for purpose, for destiny, for that one thing that makes life all worth it, that makes you fulfilled, sometimes seem like a long windy road that never becomes straight. At 50 some wonder what was I created for??? At 15 some know this is what I was created for!!!

For those that know, serious kudos to you. For those who don’t, wow what can I say, it sure can be depressing especially if you’re at that point where you are really asking, searching, seeking, waiting....

I have been here many times, asking what am I created for??? What am I meant to be doing? There were times I was so depressed and I felt the whole world had left me behind. It got more upsetting when others looked at me and said oh how talented you are, greatness is in you blah blah blah and I would think; “Is this really me, or are they seeing something I can’t see?”

I wanted to do so much, because I felt I was gifted in many ways, but how much can you do at once is the question, how do you know what to do at the moment, how can you trust the voice within when the voices without are saying many other things, how can you believe when contrary winds are blowing, how can you start when uncertainties fill your heart and the way isn’t so clear. How, What, When, Where, Who, Why??? – the 5ws and 1h come to plague you.

Then I discovered I was thinking too much, worrying too much, planning too much, don’t get me wrong, planning is good but sometimes you just gotta do it and let the pieces fall into place by themselves. Someone once said “too much analysis leads to paralysis”, just do it: NIKEJ.

So I decided to take it one step at a time. First I listed out all that my heart desired to do (Positive things only guys). After that I placed in order of priority and of course committed it all into Gods hands. (I can’t do anything without him). You know what happened, doors started opening into the things I wanted to do. I started getting information and opportunitites started showing up on the radar. So I jumped in and waded in the water. Some worked out and are doing great now, some didn’t – and I didn’t let that get to me because am learning that it’s all about Prayer, Persistence and Passion (amongst other things).

Some days the funny thoughts still come, still many questions in my head and doubts in my heart. Fear as usual lurks at the door, envy sometimes creeps in. Insecurity rears its head, but hey it’s all part of it. I thank God for my life today and in the midst of it all, I know without a doubt it’s all working out for my good.  

So if you find yourself in this position as well, don’t despair, it’s not the end of the world, on the contrary it’s really only the beginning. The beginning of new discoveries, strengths you didn’t know you had, life as you never knew it. The road can be tough, but hey with God you can smile all the way. Just take it one day at a time, believe in yourself (that’s very important) and step out into the unknown. And remember God has to be in it with you.

Hey what’s the worst that could happen..............................................???

Have a productive and fruitful month

TyF

June 2, 2011